Curious

by Bhakta Darcy Vaughn

I am so curious and I need to know

What makes a heart live, prosper & grow.

I want to know about yin and yang

If there’s any truth to the “Big Bang,”

My soul feels so heavy and so does my heart.

Is it that, from this world, I am ready to depart?

I just can’t really tell, I’m locked within

The black velvet bag my drug puts me in.

I welcome knowledge and a little protection

That I may comprehend simple pure perfection.

That I can stop tearing myself within & throughout

Take from me this grief, sorrow & doubt.

I need a “crash course” ‘cause I am afraid,

Of physical weakness and mistakes I’ve yet to make.

I know that my dragon will put up a fight:

He knows me intimately and will never take flight

He would keep me in darkness where we both lie,

He would shut out all light ‘til the day we both die.

But, when I looked upon my husband dying face,

I saw that there’s more than this human disgrace.

There are reasons and answers and ways to be,

Kindness and forgiveness to set a soul free.

So I’ll search for a teacher who might see

That there’s a curious bright light still inside of me.

I won’t interrupt, I’ll open closed eyes,

To be taught to find peace until the day that I die.